Category Archives: random snippets of conversation

Random snippets of conversation…

…will now only live on my dedicated blog at

That is all.


Random snippets of conversation


Tuesday = Dance Flick + burgers + office banter:

  • “Gonna have to delete that one, got a bit of my willy in it…”
  • [worst. joke. ever.] “Did you hear in the paper, you can get it from bacon? Not smoked though, because that cures it…”
  • “You’d be very hard pushed to find a girl that I don’t actually fancy…”
  • “Look at this for a burger Anna…”
  • “Absolutely well nice.”
  • “I have a disproportionately large head…”
  • “I’ve got skanks/slagpits…”
  • “Ghetto skank. Wear a stab vest.”
  • “I imagine a paedophile walks quickly, with very small steps.”
  • “Shit conversation.” [in response] “Are you talking to yourself again?”

Until Thursday (out of the office tomorrow)…

Random snippets of conversation


Monday Monday, as someone once sang…

  • “…my massive schlong…”
  • [on his favourite website] “Mine is The Sun . What does that say about me?”
  • “You can see blood spurting out. That’s what you want really.”
  • “Absolute fitties in the park. Gotta point these out to you mate.” [in response] “They’re in their school uniforms mate.”
  • “U for underwear. Sorry, yes, uniform. Not sure where underwear came from…”
  • “The racist, bigot, faggot-hating people that they are.”
  • “Oh! It’s right near Australia, where I’m going…”
  • “You’d be like the horny little rabbit…”
  • “He loves tits.”
  • “She is just filthy. She would do anything. With anyone.”
  • “Who’d win out of you and the chicken?” [in unison] “Chicken.”
  • “…and I didn’t make the handle sweaty…”
  • “Don’t toy with him. Spank him.”

TV On The Radio @ Brixton Academy now…toodlepip.

Random snippets of conversation


Maybe it’s the sunshine, maybe the thought of the weekend but the office is BANTERFUL today:

  • “Does that mean I’m vulnerable?”
  • “I’ve got a cold. And a runny eye. And a scabby head.” [in response] “Really selling yourself there…”
  • “Had a really strong coffee at Universal. Practically hallucinating.”
  • “I look like a mini monkey.”
  • “What is it with you bitches?!”
  • “We had a massive fist fight yesterday…”
  • “Have you seen his head?” [in response] “Yeah, can’t miss it can you?”
  • “One S can make such a mess…”
  • “Is there any excuse to throw shit at me?”
  • “I feel like self harming.”
  • “He was weird. He’d probably just rape you.”
  • “Are you crying blood?” [in response] “Yeah.” [in response] “Sweet.”
  • “Yes, he said you have nice titties.”
  • “Anna doesn’t use it because she’s a spacka.”
  • “I’m going to abuse you on Twitter now.”

Right, time to come out of Friday night retirement…for a while…

Random snippets of conversation


Nearly the end of the long and dragging week, banterful office:

  • “I want to cry it looks so good.”
  • “We’re Googling the SHIT out of her…”
  • [technically from an email, still funny] “Hello my favourite organiser of online campaigns for mainly movie companies”
  • “She’s lucky she’s hot.” [in response] “She’s not.” [in response] “She is.” [in response] “She’s not.” [in response] “Well…she is.” [and so on…]
  • “You could snog him. That would be really weird. If you were caught having gay sex…”
  • “I ate a 16 ounce hamburger.”
  • “Do we have a gun?”
  • “I dunno. With sperm?”
  • [singing] “Dan’s my favourite because he reminds me of a Tamagotchi…”
  • “If she put it on a plate for you you’d tuck in.”
  • “Like Holly Willoughby with an intolerance to Ryvita.”
  • “You won’t have to see him for 4 days. It’ll be like a little holiday for you.”
  • “Suicide? I just Googled it. Fucking horrible…” [in response] “I’m doing it now.”

Off to the ballet. Tally ho!

PS You can now read these, and other bits and bobs I hear, at

Random snippets of conversation


Middle-of-the-week quotations from a camera crew-filled office:

  • “I’m Mr Urban Art.”
  • “She’ll probably dump you and never speak to you ever again…”
  • “I don’t like Porsches. They are for nobs.”
  • “He never replies.” [in response] “He’s too busy fiddling with himself.”
  • “Let me find a clunge one…”
  • “He just absolutely tries to wallop you.”
  • “Some people just have squashed faces…”

Nearly hometime.

I’m starting a new blog…


…dedicated to my random snippets of conversation posts because they are the posts that people most love.

I’m also going to blog not only stuff I hear in work, but things I hear all around me. If I remember.

It is going to live at but bear with me whilst I get it fully up and running.